A Mother’s Cross (Red Bird Ministries)

Thursday, February 27, 2025

This virtual retreat invites parents - both mothers and fathers - to pray through the grief after the loss of a child. For some, this is a loss in the womb, while for others it may be a loss experienced immediately after birth or early in infancy or childhood. While each moment of loss is personal and unique, we often find comfort in praying along with others who have similar experiences.

The retreat will take us gently through the contemplation of two songs, each composed originally for the Baptism of a child. For the setting of this retreat, I have arranged each song for our prayerful consideration through the lens of grieving parents. Long before my journey to the priesthood, like most of our participants, I was married, and with my wife we experienced a stillbirth and multiple miscarriages. Unknown to most, our three daughters are most certainly known and loved by us as parents. With the passing of my wife to cancer in 2007, she is now with our daughters Rebecca, Anne and Mary for Eternal Life. One day, with the grace of God, I will meet these daughters and Ellie again. For now, I am blessed and content to know they are with Jesus.

When You Speak for Me With Broken Hearts

Originally composed in August of 1989, this song was simply titled “When You Speak For Me,” and the lyrics come from the point of view of a newborn child. In full disclosure, it was composed for my son Will, and the nephew of the composer, Kevin. In the original manuscript of this hymn, my good friend Rudy Borkowski (Copyright 1989) had hand-written, “For Billy and Kevin.” Over the years of my priesthood, I have adapted these words previously for a married and engaged couples retreat, and now for us as parents who grieve the loss of our children.

Baptism Prayer, Gift of Love

Originally composed by Tim Schoenbachler, it carried the simple title “Baptism Prayer.” While our first hymn during the retreat comes through the lens of a child, this song is a prayer from the hearts of parents, proclaiming our hopes and dreams for our child. The original point of reference can easily be seen as the prayers of parents on the day of Baptism. The arrangement we will consider tonight looks at the words through the lens of loss, with the sure recognition that our children are now, and for all eternity, in the loving embrace of eternal, perfect love with Jesus.

For the purpose of our retreat, I would encourage participants to print out a copy of the lyrics for your reference during our time together.